Self-care for me is an internal work, one that isn’t confined with the restrictions of time. Self-care is journey. It is my belief that the better you understand yourself, the better you can understand others and the world around you.
One of the things I discovered about myself is that I am an introvert and an empath. Understanding that, I am able to identify my limitations when it comes to being around people and crowds for an extended period of time. With that being said, I utilize my free time with care and purpose. I understand my limitations and I try to be cheerful in my giving. Meaning that outside of adult obligations (work, paying bills, cleaning, etc) I don’t obligate myself to do things that I don’t genuinely want to do. I have peacefully accepted that “no” is a complete sentence. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love or care, it doesn’t mean I’m not supportive, it doesn’t have to mean anything negative. Actually, knowing my limitations has allowed me to be more reliable in my relationships.
I believe a lot of times we tend to overbook to the point that we have zero time or opportunity to recover. We give all of our time away to our jobs, kids, family and friends and we have nothing to give to ourselves. It can be a vicious cycle that can be difficult to break.
Self-care is knowing how to take time for yourself to recover from the demands of life. Here are some practical examples that I’ve used.
1. I look at my schedule before I agree to do anything. Ex. “Sounds like a great idea, let me get back to you after I look at my schedule”
Sometimes we can get caught up in a good plan and agree to do things and we end up overbooking ourselves and a good time can become stressful because we end up not showing up or running late trying to be at two places at one time.
2. Utilize your PTO at work just to create some free time to do something for yourself. You don’t always have to use your vacation time for a trip or an event.
3. Having nothing to do is a plan and Self-care can be doing absolutely nothing with no plans.
4. Therapy is Self-care. There is a false narrative surrounding therapy, but it can be a useful tool to help us process our “why”.
The better we understand ourselves the better we can have healthy boundaries and relationships with others.
There’s only one you and no one can replace you. We owe it to ourselves to take care of ourselves, mentally, physically, and spiritually. What better way to start than with Self-care?
-Vendola M Lawrence
