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  • Writer's pictureShe Selfish

“G” Marks the Spot!

You May have heard the so-called golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” But what about doing unto yourself as you do unto others. The practice of self-compassion, acceptance and forgiveness of self. What this looks like is being realistic, flexible, and honest about your bandwidth, energy, and interest. In other words “ GIVE YOURSELF GRACE”.


To often we get lost in the hustle and bustle of this thing we call


“Life “ forgetting how to live in the moment. This seems like a lesson a five -year-old struggles to learn, but here I am, many decades later, having to tell myself the same thing. The funny thing is, regardless of whether I admit it, I am not able to do everything I want to. I’ll run out of time,energy,pain tolerance and then I’ll be left thinking about all the stuff I didn’t do, and not the stuff I got done. there. This is what I’m working on now, is managing my self-expectations,anticipating how much I can reasonably do, in reaching my goals, without loosing my mind trying to shoulder an unrealistic load. I’m still working on this manner of self-grace so don’t judge me for I’m not quite there yet!


A part of me working on giving myself grace is the art being patient, and yes I said “ART”. Listen the saying that patience is a virtue is an understatement it’s one of life’s greatest components. As I learn how long tasks take, I am learning to place them in my day in a reasonable manner letting go of the delusions of what fits in an hour. This has brought me so much more calm and satisfaction as I bask in what I accomplished rather than sulk over what I didn’t. Giving yourself grace is recognizing that a win is a win no matter how big or how small.


Finally giving myself grace is acknowledging that I am going to make mistakes, “SO WHAT”! Mistakes are our biggest teachers. We are going to go backwards from time to time. It’s part of our shared humanity and part of what connects us to each other and even what keeps us grounded. This by far has been the hardest form of self- grace for me, but the most necessary. In my journey, I learned the purpose of grace is to lift the burden of guilt/shame, failure, inadequacy, and disappointment off ourselves so that we can better breathe, progress, grow, and in many ways infuse more life into our days. Grace by far is not an excuse for giving up. It’s not an excuse for bad short-term decisions that will bite us in the bum later.


Instead, grace is permission to acknowledge our present situation giving ourselves permission to give ourselves what we need to be stronger for the next step. Bottom line my loves:


Be kind to yourself and Give yourself grace.


Tannis Richardson


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